Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
