Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
