Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I touched a dick in church today
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize