I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
