Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
