If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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