She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize