I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
