Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
