Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize