i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Holy shit dude........stairs
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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