You made me cry and you don't even care
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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