I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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