pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
