your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize