I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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