He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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