A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize