If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
