i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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