I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
