tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Randomize
