she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
