am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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