I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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