gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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