i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
