I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
