Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
So here I am, sexting at work.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
