I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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