So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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