Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
