Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
