is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
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not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
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"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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