i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
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waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
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Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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