do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
i out mim tonsoeep
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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