I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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