I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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