just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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