I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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