I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
