Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I supernannyed him into submission
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
