my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
