went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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