Can i not drive my cunt home
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
