Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize