Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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