Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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