I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
