im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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