How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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