New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
