I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm always down for nudity.
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