When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
