Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
