they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
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